Darth Vader’s blog

The Darth Side: Memoirs of a Monster is a very well written — and funny as hell — limited edition blog. It peers into the mind of the evil Sith Lord in the context of the Star Wars films.Here’s a sample from Episode V – The Empire Strikes Back titled “Parenting 101.”

Okay, I admit it. I cut off the kid’s hand. Everything went downhill after that.

Blast! Blast! Blast! I am such an idiot.

…The boy is strong. Stronger than I could have imagined. I had toyed with him at first, but I soon found myself working hard. He knew none of the classic moves: his foil play was dictated directly from his heart, clubbing at me with an instinctive passion that dodged my every stratagem.

And, of course, my left leg was acting up like crazy.

…He popped out of the carbon chamber before I could freeze him, which was a neat trick. The duel ranged. I threw objects at him with my mind, which was obviously beyond his ken as he reacted by trying to dodge them like a low man. Then I blew him through a window.
It went on and on.

He didn’t even want to talk about the power of the dark side.

And then it happened: down on the catwalk as we clashed again and he struck me with his sabre, glancing my shoulder. He struck me, and I just lost my cool — without really thinking it through I lopped off his hand. Little bugger!

Another funny post is titled “I am surrounded by idiots.”


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